LLH 4.1

“Martingale” by Roentgen

Anthony DeMartino found some time to grade papers while his history students took an exam. A teacher's life was preparing for lectures, dealing with disciplinary problems, and in-between, finding the time to grade papers, record results, and fit the rest of one's life into what time was left over.

After spending thirty minutes to make sure that the finest of the Lawndale Lions didn't cheat off each other, he sat at his desk. Given Ms. Li's advice, he would have just stepped out of the room and let the jocks do what they wanted, but he swore he would never be that kind of teacher. It was one of several reasons why he and Angela never got along.

There were a few bonuses to teaching, however, that didn't make it a complete hell -- although he had to admit that the last few years had been hard and he was losing his zeal. "Burning out" they called it. What kept him going were students like Daria Morgendorffer. Sure, she was a little hard ass, but he liked that. She was a good student, one who thought about what he had to say instead of just repeating it back to him. Daria had even rubbed off on Jane Lane, who was turning in respectable work in History for once in her life.

Anthony did NOT look forward to next period.

DeMartino stood up. "All right. Time. Put your pencils

The class groaned. "Pass ALL papers up to the front of the row!"

The papers shuffled their way up to the front, and were soon stacked on his desk. He grabbed the large leather briefcase and stuffed the stack inside. He would grade it all while watching TV that night.

The bell rang. Everyone immediately stood up, glad to flee the oppressive educational regime of Anthony DeMartino. DeMartino watched the jocks, preps, and burnouts flee the room. What a sorry group of students. I tell you, if Quinn Morgendorffer could be as smart as --

It was then that Anthony noted that he had not seen Quinn or Sandi Griffin or that awful coterie of theirs. He turned to see where they were sitting.

There they were. Three of them, Quinn, Sandi, and Tiffany. ASLEEP. Tiffany briefly raised her head, and blew a loose strand of hair away from her lips, then turned to sleep some more, all of them using DeMartino's test as a thin, but serviceable pillow.

(la la LA la la)

Rex Black preferred the bus to flying. (This week, he was Rex Black. Tomorrow, he might be Brian Delaney. Or David Schwarz.) The reason being that when one flew, there was no guarantee that one would not end up in an ocean, or lake, or swamp. Flying in a gigantic metal can disturbed his esthetic sensibilities. If flight was his only choice, and there was no suitable bus or limousine service, he would fly under his own power if he absolutely had to.

The bus was all that luxury could provide. It was not a passenger bus, but a private bus, as if Rex Black were a rock star. (And, in a way, he was.) His servants traveled in the bus behind him, but the English girl and the Japanese girl traveled with him as his concubines of the moment.

The trip had started out from Las Vegas, near Black's desert mansion. The English girl asked why his mansion was quite literally in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by burning sand. He told her a "never you mind" and gave her a diamond necklace to stop her prattling. Frankly, he preferred his women quiet, silent, and submissive. The diamonds must have pleased her because she did not object when the Japanese girl crawled into bed with the both of them.

After four hours of lovemaking, Black had decided to rest for a while. The permutations were rolling in his dreams, the myriad of sexual possibilities, when he found himself awake at an ungodly hour.

IT called to him.

The Soul Crystal. There was a Soul Crystal on earth, and it was free. Beyond the body, and his for the taking.

He regretted not adding the Soul Crystal to his magnificence. (But why would he despoil a body as beautiful as his own?) One of his servants had taken the Crystal from him. He had caught up with the servant, but unfortunately, the servant had decided to place it in the body of some fool. This servant had dreams of empire of his own. Unfortunately, when the servant found that his wards of protection were not enough to defend him from Black Majesty, he committed suicide rather than fall into his hands, alive. And the secret of the Soul Crystal's location was lost.

Until now.

Therefore, Black Majesty (he was never called that, save by his equals) was on his leisurely way across the United States. He would show up at his destination sooner or later, and he would have the Crystal. This time, the owner would not be permitted death as a means of escape.

(la la LA la la)

DeMartino watched carefully from the corner of his good eye as he completed his summary of judicial review. There was Kevin, his bete noir , scratching his head. There was Brittany Taylor, who was a nice kid but dumb as a plank. And, near the wall, were Daria Morgendorffer and Jane Lane, both barely awake and looking the worse for wear.

"Class, in two days, I want you to name three cases where the Supreme Court used the concept of judicial review. You must name the case and how the case violated the Constitution! Have it written down!"

The bell chimedrang. Everyone stood to leave. DeMartino found his prey, and intercepted her. "Daria, I need to speak to you. Briefly."

Jane looked over to Daria.

>-- Give me a minute, Jane. < -- Nodding, Jane left the room.

"Daria," said Mr. DeMartino, "I just read your paper on Witch Hunts. Let me say right now that it's not up to your usual standard."

DeMartino turned the paper back over to Daria.

B-MINUS

"No, Daria, women were not the only victims of the witch hunters, and I explained in class that the estimates of millions dead was historically misleading. The FIRST error is beyond someone as smart as you. The SECOND error is called ‘not paying attention'. You only remembered part of what I had said, not the disclaimer!

"I noticed that your sister, Quinn, had fallen ASLEEP in my class! During a TEST! Along with her little friends! And there has been more than once where I've noticed you nodding off in class, or not taking notes, or looking rather DISTRACTED from what I'm saying! WHAT is going on?"

Daria gulped. "Uh...well...I...." Words failed her.

"YOU and I are going to have a discussion. Before I end up having a DISCUSSION with your PARENTS! Which is NOT what I'm looking forward to! End of school! Be THERE! Dismissed."

(la la LA la la)

Jane and Daria enjoyed the air outside. It helped both of them stay awake more easily. Both of them sipped an Ultra-Cola.

"Y'know, Daria, I've discovered a problem with these colas."

"They destroy your teeth and your metabolism?"

"Oh, I knew that already. The problem is there comes a point where not even the caffeine provided in soda cans can keep you awake. Mi amiga , we're going to have to move up to the harder stuff -- coffee !"

"Great. Now all I need is a briefcase and a position at a semi-successful Lawndale law firm."

"Well...I do want to tell you that we have a Legion meeting after school."

"Of course. Well, I have a meeting after school, too. With Mr. DeMartino."

"What about?"

"The three page paper on The Witch Trials that I wrote in five minutes. I got a B-minus."

"You bastard!" Jane didn't want to say what she had gotten on hers.

"Mr. DeMartino is concerned. Parents were mentioned."

Jane coughed. "Well, I have more bad news. This is probably the meeting where I get voted out as head of the Legion."

"Ugh. Don't remind me. You will notice that I did put in a position of Deputy Fu--uh, Deputy Leader in the Constitution."

Jane smiled, and began speaking in an airy, animated voice. "'Why, Gee, Sandi, I would never say anything bad about you being the Best President ever of the Legion Club!' That's a fate worse that death. At least when we get old enough, we can turn off the money spigot."

Daria stood up. "I'm beginning to think that all of this was a curse and not a blessing. We need to get to our last class. I'll be meeting with Mr. DeMartino after that. If I'm not back in fifteen minutes, send in a squad of sherpas to get me."

(la la LA la la)

Daria waited outside the door of the classroom. Not wanting to stand, she found a spot on the floor and tried to work on Mr. DeMartino's assignment. She could name three cases where the Supreme Court overturned decisions off the top of her head; naming the citations and reasoning would be difficult.

Mr. DeMartino usually had his class door open. She waited impatiently for her appointment. What the hell's keeping him?

Daria decided to reach through the walls and try to see if she could find any operating mind behind the door. She'd read DeMartino's thoughts and figure out how long it was going to take before he got around to answering his door.

She let her thoughts reach out....

oW oW oW PAIN PAIN PAIN!! GOD STOP THE PAIN!!!

What the hell was going on? Was Mr. D. having a heart attack? Daria rushed into the room.

She found two men holding DeMartino. They were two beefy looking guys. One held DeMartino's arm behind his back, lifting it forcefully. The other had DeMartino's head mashed down into his desk. They looked like they meant business.

"One thousand dollars, Tony. We're not gonna wait!!"

The two men turned, looking at who opened the door. They looked at Daria with a combination of amusement and contempt. Daria decided to give them a mental command to straighten them out

>-- Get the hell out of here! And forget you saw me! <--

The two walked out of the room, quickly...followed by Anthony DeMartino.

Uh oh. >-- Mr. D, come back...! --<

DeMartino immediately turned around before he left with his "friends". The Lawndale teacher stood there for a few seconds, shaking off the mental command.

"What th--?" He looked at Daria. "OH! Miss Morgendorffer! That is...I...uh...." DeMartino sat down, putting his head in his hands. "Oh, goodness...."

"Maybe I should...uh...come back later," said Daria.

"You're not going to TELL anyone about this...are you?" begged DeMartino.

"No. No, I'm not." Daria liked Mr. DeMartino. A notion immediately crossed her mind, betraying a longing. She knew something about Mr. DeMartino that he didn't want known, and maybe it was time to finally get her problems off her chest by sharing them with the nearest authority figure...or the closest thing to one, anyway.

Daria took in a deep breath. "Mr. DeMartino, I think there's something you should know...."

(la la LA la la)

"Gee Stacy," said Quinn, "like thanks for being there when we needed it!" One could almost hear the sarcasm escape into the room like a gas leak.

Tiffany stared at Stacy. "It's like...sooooo wrong. You know...we would wake yooou up if we were sleeping!"

"I'm sorry!" yelped Stacy. "I'm sorry, but I overslept! By the time I woke up it was 11:00 am! I didn't get to school on time! Oh, you've got to forgive me! Do -- do you think we'll get into trouble?"

"Mr. D will never let us retake that test!" said Quinn. "I'm going to be grounded!"

"It's like....nooooo way...." said Tiffany.

Jane and Daria stepped into the trailer. "Glad to see everyone is here...almost. Where's Sandi?"

"Just you know it," mumbled Daria, "late during her moment of triumph."

Sandi stepped into the room, from the bathroom. "Ahem," said Sandi, "I suppose we should begin the voting. I also have an announcement after the voting, so I request that everyone stay."

" Ja wohl. " said Jane.

Stacy passed over the Agenda of Meeting to Jane.

"Lemme see...intro...I'm going to skip that... reading of the minutes of the last meeting...I think I'll skip that, too -- "

" -- seconded!" said Daria, ignoring Stacy's stare.

"...any old business?" Jane asked, expectantly. "All right. I want you to know that I got a call from Dawn Hall this afternoon. They're going to put up a chain link fence and armed guards on quarry road. I don't think she was that happy with our visitor. So there's going to be some inconvenience getting to these meetings. The guards know who we are, and will let Stacy and Trent in...but that's it. Everyone else has to be accompanied. The construction workers will go in by a separate entrance.

"We move over to the new business. First, voting. You are voting for a new leader and deputy leader of the Legion. Everyone can only vote for one person. The person getting the most votes is leader, second most votes is deputy leader. Now, according to what Daria told me, the leader of the Legion has two powers. Namely, none of you can disobey a reasonable order of the Legion leader. And also, that the leader of the Legion controls the purse strings. If the leader somehow can't do the job, the deputy leader takes over."

"And gets a matching tiara and bracelet," said Daria. Jane, against her will, smiled.

"Okay. Secret ballot. Let's get this over with."

Stacy passed out index cards to everyone to write their ballot choices down. The ballot decisions were made quickly and Stacy collected the cards.

"Secretary," said Sandi, "will you please read the results?"

"Okay." Stacy stacked up the cards and acted not unlike Jeff Probst.

"One vote for Sandi Griffin."

Sandi smiled.

"One vote for Jane Lane. One vote Jane, one vote Sandi."

Stacy picked up the next card and flipped it over. "Sandi Griffin. That's two votes for Sandi, one vote for Jane."

Everyone inched forward as Stacy flipped over the next card. "Jane Lane. Two votes for Sandi, and two for Jane."

Stacy looked at the last card. She recognized the writing...but said nothing.

"Uh...the last vote...is for...uh...."

"Who?" asked Daria.

" Jane ," mumbled Stacy.

Everyone looked shocked. "That's....three votes Jane, two votes Sandi. Jane Lane is the leader and Sandi Griffin is the deputy leader."

No one knew what to do next.

Still in shock, Sandi got up and walked over to Jane. "Uh...handshake?" she mumbled.

"Sure," said Jane, also puzzled. The two shook hands. Quinn began clapping and the other four girls offered their applause.

"O...kay," said Jane. "I don't know what to say, so I'll just say thanks. And remind you that my term is only for a year, so you can figure out if I'm doing a good job or not. Any other new business?"

"Yes," said Sandi, standing up. "I want the Legion to know that I'm going to be moving."

"Moving?" said Jane. "You're leaving the Legion?"

"No. I'm going to move right here. In one of the trailesr. If you let me."

"You're saying," said Daria, "that you're going to permanently move here? What about your parents?"

"It was my parents' idea," said Sandi. "They think that we're all going to be targets, sooner or later. And they want me to be around people who can...uh...help out."
Sandi had the look of an exile on her face.

"Wowwwww," muttered Tiffany, breaking the spell. "That is soooo harsh."

"The movers come on Wednesday. So I guess it's really cool that they're putting up a fence. I thought I was going to be, like, alone and stuff, just me and Fluffy."

"We'll visit all the time!" said Quinn.

"Yeahhhh," said Tiffany, thinking about her own living situation and how she could upgrade it by moving in with Sandi. Her mom would never notice, anyway.

"Me too!" said Stacy.

"I hate to interrupt the Care Bears," said Daria, "but might I have the floor?"

"You have an objection?" said Sandi.

"No. No, I don't. It might be a good idea to have someone here full time if you can swing school with it. I need to report another problem to the Legion. Anyway, here's what happened. I got a B-minus on a paper that Mr. DeMartino gave me, and he told me that I should wait outside his office...."